Sleepwalker
by Nemu-saa
Summary: Yuki's best-laid plans to leave the Souma house and go to school quickly spiral into a terrified dash through the surrounding woods, leaving him alone with memories of Akito impressing on him the harsh difference between escaping and being free. Preseries
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **Yuki's best laid plans to leave the Souma house and go to school quickly spiral into a terrified dash into surrounding woods, leaving him alone and lost with the memory of Akito's words reminding him of the harsh difference between escaping and being free. Preseries. As canon as I can manage. :)

**Rated: **K+

**Manga Purists Beware!** I am familiar with bits and pieces of the manga, but mostly I just love the show. Therefore, I mainly followed Yuki's history as (rather vaguely) portrayed _in_ the show. So if you'd consider yourself a manga purist, you'll probably hate this. If you're interested in reading anyway, I may do a happy dance, but you've been warned. ;)

**Translator Note:** I use a few phrases in here for which there is no real English translation, but if you're very familiar with subbed anime, you'll probably know what they mean. If not, I'm terribly sorry, I tried not to go overboard.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Sleepwalker**

_

* * *

_

_Just give in. It would be so easy. As easy as falling asleep._

Yuki hit the dark entry way's wooden floor hard, producing a collection of dull thudding sounds. He remained sprawled there for a moment, waiting for sting of Akito's hand striking his face to register. It did; the burning numbness spread slowly under his shaking fingers.

"Leaving?" Akito screamed at him. "Don't be stupid. Where would you go? You have nowhere." Then sneering, "No one…"

Yuki got to his feet, careful not to look up. He took a cautious step towards his long-packed suitcase, still leaning against the wall by the front door.

"I'm going to go to school…" he took another step, feeling Akito's gaze scorching him. "I I'll stay with Shi "

"Go to school. You?"

Yuki heard the sudden footsteps just as he reached the door. Akito whirled him around by one shoulder, slamming him into the into the wall with an arm across his throat and his wrist pinned over his head.

Yuki gasped sharply, but knew better than to struggle.

"With people? I see. You think you'll make 'friends'." Akito's voice fell dangerously soft. "But you're wrong. You're just trash to them, Yuki. Just dirt to wipe of their shoes. None of them want you." He stooped closer to Yuki's face and hissed, "They don't _need _you. And you know it."

_Stop fighting. Stop hoping._

"Say you know it…" he coaxed lightly. Yuki flinched away from his gaze, trying swallow. Then he felt his wrist twisting painfully and Akito's arm pressed harder into his neck. "Say it!" he spat.

"Ah - I know!" Yuki half whispered with the air he had left.

A pause… then the pressure slowly relaxed. "And you don't need them," Akito concluded, releasing his wrist. Yuki felt two fingers brush at some stray bangs, then caress down his cheek to the tip of his chin. "You need me."

Akito's forearm eased all the way off his throat and ragged breathing once again punctuated the silence like a lethargic metronome.

"Say it again."

Yuki bit his lip, looking anywhere but in those eyes. "I know."

"Again." The smile was back.

"I know."

"Again!"

"I kn -" Akito slapped him.

_Just go to sleep. Give in._

He gently pressed his palm against Yuki's reddened cheek and rubbed his thumb back and forth slowly.

"No you don't." His voice was airy; full of condescending sympathy. "Always, I'm trying to make you understand… but it's like you can't hear me at all. That's why…"

At last, he took a step back and dropped his fingers to Yuki's suitcase handle. He lifted the case carefully, like it was a toy Yuki shouldn't have been playing with. "I'm not angry with you, Yuki." He chuckled. "Not at all."

Yuki didn't move. He kept his eyes on the floor, palms against the wall behind him. The stiff, carefully folded Kiabara highschool acceptance letter felt heavy in his coat pocket. He was going - leaving.

Yes, he knew no one wanted him. He was convinced of it. But one question burned like yellow embers in his mind, a little hotter every day: Could Akito, who decided what was right, what was best - Akito, who knew _everything_… be wrong?

Because, if he was wrong about even _one _thing - there was a way out.

"If you're not -" he swallowed a dry whisper and tried again, louder. "If you're not angry - then let me leave."

Warily, he reached out a hand for the suitcase.

Akito's head tipped sideways and he smiled. He lifted the case toward Yuki's hand, then suddenly slipped the clasp open.

"Oops."

Yuki watched as folded clothes, pencils, paper and the school books Hatori had given him tumbled and bounced off the gaping suitcase lid and scattered all over the wood floor.

Akito dropped the empty case on top of the pile and smirked. "_Let _you… leave?" he looked down. After a moment his shoulders started shaking. He was laughing.

Suddenly, he threw his head back and let off a shrieking cackle that made Yuki jump. "Leave ME? You can't - not me!" He kicked the pile of clothes viciously. A few shirts went flying and a crimson scarf landed next to Yuki's feet. He stepped over the mess toward Yuki, eyes wide with hysterical fury. "You can never leave, you can't survive without - _I'm all you have! _You ignorant, pathetic, worthless little -"

Another step and he raised his hand again. Yuki didn't think.

In one terror-rushed movement, he snatched up the scarf, hauled the door open and shot out into the torrent of freezing February sleet.

He ran to the edge of the porch and leapt off, without bothering with the steps, landing in an old, ice-crusted snowdrift. Akito screeched something indistinct at him from doorway but in moments, Yuki was plunging past the estate tree line.

He wasn't even sure when he'd passed the other houses, the courtyard, zen garden, or entrance gate. He just threw himself into running, head thrust forward and eyes squeezed shut.

If he slowed, he felt Akito's hand on his elbow, heard his voice a hairsbreadth away; breath in his ear. _You can't run far enough, Yuki. You know that. Say you know it…_

He pushed off tree trunks, ducked under branches, but never slowed down. By the time he risked glancing over his shoulder, the mansion - the whole Souma Estate - had long disappeared. All that surrounded him were snow-drenched trees and gray fog.

Just as he turned to face frontwards again, the toe of his boot caught under an up-jutting tree root, jerking his right leg around his left and pitching him forward.

"Ahh !"

The cry cut off as he hit the muddy ground, barely keeping his face up with one elbow and his hand which he accidentally plunged in a puddle of melted snow. The biting ice-water snapped around his fingers like a mouse trap. He jolted backwards and scrambled up onto his knees.

_Say it!_

A shuddering near his abdomen made him want to throw up. He swallowed hard.

Calm down.

Was he really out?

He took a deep breath that didn't come back quite right. No. He wasn't out until he'd made it to Shigure's house. And even then …Focus!

Now….which way was the road? Yuki looked around. If he'd gone exactly straight, it ought to be directly on his left, but he'd taken no such care in his direction.

The balled up scarf felt warm in his frozen hand.

He'd been sure to keep it from touching the ground, and now he unrolled it and picked out a few twig-pieces that had caught in the wool as he ran.

He still remembered when Kagura had given it to him at the last New Year's celebration. The sunlight had just been replaced by several dozen candles and Kagura had spent the last hour behind Akito's always-closed bedroom door, arguing with him.

She'd tried to keep the reason a secret, but Hatsuharu had already told Yuki that she was planning to invite them both (and Kyo, of course, though he wouldn't come) to her family's lakeside villa over spring break.

Yuki hadn't reacted much to this news. He knew there was no way on earth Akito would agree to such an idea. Not for him, anyway.

Sure enough, Kagura returned to the living room looking tense and defeated. For a moment she'd stood there, staring down into space, shoulders sagging. Then, mustering an overly cheerful smile, she'd come over to where Yuki sat, watching ten-year-old Kisa work on a jigsaw puzzle.

Kagura had knelt right in front of him and thrust the deep-red scarf into his hands. "For you, Yun-chan!"

He'd looked up at her, wide eyed. "Th-thank you."

She blushed and smiled down at her lap. "It's not very good because I made it myself and I'm new at knitting, so there are a lot of wholes but - hopefully the yarn is thick enough so that…"

She'd met his eyes again, but suddenly, her smile began to tremble. Just then, she'd jumped forward on her knees and threw her arms around his neck.

Startled, Yuki had blinked several times, back straight with his fingers limp around the scarf.

"Just…" She'd whispered shakily, "Stay warm, okay?"

After a moment she'd let go, stood up and turned away quickly. She'd spent the rest of the celebration helping Hatori with the dishes.

The wind was blowing a cold film over Yuki's ears and he rubbed his palms over them ineffectively. Why had she acted like that - like she cared? None of the them cared… did they?

…_the most hated of the Juunishi - the Rat spirit is filthy. They're happier never seeing you, Yuki. Don't come out today, you'll offend them. _

Was it true?

Yuki buried his face in the soft, crimson wool. His breath heated a small patch of it which he rubbed over his frozen nose.

Whether it was true or not hardly mattered. If they hated him it was no surprise.

He wrapped the scarf around his neck and started to stand.

If they _did _care… where did that leave him? They were all in the same sinking boat. The world hated them for being different and no Souma could ever -

The all-too-familiar weight suddenly trickled through his head like sand and Yuki felt a crippling fatigue begin to shake his knees. He sank back down quickly before he could fall and gasped for air. It hurtled into his lungs hot and dry, exiting rigidly cold.

He'd overdone it - he shouldn't have run for so long. Yuki gripped wet ground with his frozen hand and clutched the front of his coat with the other.

He couldn't afford to have an attack here. Alone.

_You have nowhere… no one. _

Concentrate.

Another volley of sleet cascaded into the treetops out of the roiling, steel-colored sky. Just breathe.

A handful of drops poked tiny ditches in a patch of mud-blotched snow close by. Breathe.

It was slowing, now. He was still exhaling more air than he inhaled, but the sand in his head started to thin a little. Carefully, he scooted off his knees and sat back against a thick tree. The trunk had stayed almost dry under the branches.

Now that the oxygen could flow straight up and down, there was nothing to do but wait. Yuki folded his still-throbbing right hand under his left arm and listened to the machinegun fire of his heartbeat gradually quiet down.

There was a soft fluttering noise. He looked down. The scrap of wrinkled notebook paper on which he'd scrawled Shigure's address was sticking out of his coat pocket, flapping in the stiff breeze.

He pulled it out, pinching the paper tight so it wouldn't blow away, and stared at the semi-neat lettering.

In all his hopeful planning, Yuki hadn't dared consider what would happen if Shigure didn't want him to stay. Worse yet, what if he took him back? With a sudden stomach twist, he pushed the thought away.

If Shigure made him leave, perhaps Kagura could - but no, she would be in school herself; too busy. Hatsuharu? But he didn't know where Haru was right now.

Yuki coughed on an amused sigh. Haru probably didn't know where he was, either.

_**Souma Yuki,**_

_**On behalf of the Kiabara School Board, I am pleased to inform you that you're examination form has passed and we will be expecting you on March 3**__**rd**__** for the Opening Ceremony.**_

Yuki pulled his arms around tighter as the wind blew suddenly low across the forest floor.

He'd played these words over nearly a hundred times, reading and re-reading the letter 'til it was memorized.

Kiabara was coed and received, on average, about two hundred students each year. He'd be surrounded by people - not isolated anymore. Right?

Mud had frozen on the hems of his pant legs. A tree branch dropped a load of old snow that gave a muted thump when it spattered the ground.

…_you're wrong, Yuki. You're just trash to them._

He covered his numb ears, fingers curled into the surrounding mass of damp hair.

_What can you offer anyone? What can you give? Nothing. How pitiful…_

"Stop it," he whispered. "Please, stop."

Never had he felt this cold. To cold to shiver anymore, too cold to concentrate.

The wind moaned at him from the ice-covered treetops.

So tired.

_Go to sleep…_

_

* * *

_

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Headlights?

Yuki opened his eyes, unaware they'd ever closed. It seemed somewhat darker now, the clouds turning a color like worn asphalt, but it remained afternoon.

His breathing was still labored and shallow, so he couldn't have fallen asleep… he just wanted to.

Headlights! The realization struck Yuki like a blow to the midsection and he sat flat up against the tree trunk. The pale yellow glow panned across the surrounding trees, creating stretched, black shadows. The lights seemed to freeze on Yuki, then they went out along with the dull rumble of a car engine.

So. Akito _had _come after him.

Panic welled up in his throat and he tried to get up, to run. His sneaker sole slid wildly across a patch of hard-packed slush. He scraped down the trunk and back onto the ground.

A car door slammed shut.

Hide! Again, he tried to stand, bracing an arm behind him for leverage. But lingering fatigue seamed to weaken all his limbs at once and he collapsed again, panting.

Footsteps crunched through frosted underbrush. Yuki stared helplessly into crowded trees, eyes wide with apprehension.

A black rain boot was stomping over some thick tree roots about ten feet away from him. No, go away!

The tall figure came into view wearing jeans, a long, dark purple trench-coat and an umbrella splashed with rainbow swirls.

Yuki blinked. What the -?

"I _thought _I saw something red out here!" The woman's face appeared out of the umbrella's shadow and her finger came up to point in mock accusation at his scarf. A boyish grin squinted her eyes nearly shut. She even laughed a little as if they'd been playing hide-and-seek and she'd just won.

Yuki gazed blankly back, every muscle still taught. This person was…

Her grin slackened into a friendly smile and she took a closer look at him. "You live around here or are you hitchhiking?" She pulled off her knitted hat, shaking loose a cloud of strawberry blonde hair that just brushed her shoulders.

If it wasn't Akito then - he still had time to run! If only he could get breathing properly again and get up… he dissolved abruptly into a fit of wet coughs.

"Hey…are you alright, Kiddo? You don't look so good." Iced snow crunched under her boots as she took a step forward.

"Get away!" Yuki yelped before he could swallow it. Then he immediately dropped his gaze, feeling ashamed. He hadn't meant to be so rude. But the last time he'd let someone else near him - in these very woods - the memory still stung sometimes. Every friend he'd ever had… "Please - don't come near me," he amended quietly.

"So, you _can _talk," she said, triumphant. "My name is Honda Kyoko. What's yours?"

Surprised, he looked back up slowly. "S - Souma… Yuki."

"How old are you, Yuki-kun?"

He felt his jaw drop a little. Hearing a stranger call him so familiarly - what was it? Like bath water over his head, maybe. A soft, melting sensation.

For a moment, he stopped struggling to get up and heard himself reply, "Fifteen."

"Is that so? I have a daughter your age! Don't know why she puts up with me, but I love all her pieces with all my pieces. Couldn't trade her for a cuter model, you know?"

Not really.

Yuki watched some wet snow slip off her umbrella and splatter to the ground as she crouched in front of him.

Her aurora-blue eyes glanced searchingly between his. "But enough with the small talk… what's the story?"

"I - I was just…" How to answer? The words started to flail around like beached fish. "There was - I was running and…because the road was - I didn't see any … I just -"

Kyoko cut him off with a glowing laugh. "Got a little lost, did you?"

He twitched. "Ah - I know where I'm going."

"Where's that?"

Without knowing why, he held out the piece of notepaper still clenched in his fist. The moment she had the edge of it, he let go and dropped the empty hand back to his lap.

"Oh, I know where this is!" she said, scanning the address. "I'm actually headed that general direction. Here, I'll drive you the rest of the way."

She stood up and reached her hand down to him.

Yuki recoiled against the tree, as if afraid of being smacked. He realized a second later how strange this must of looked. She stopped but didn't draw back. She only stood there, mid-reach, head tilted slightly. Concerned.

Humiliation burned his cheeks. "I … I'm sorry," Yuki swallowed hard. "I can't -"

"Can't what?" She was smiling again. "Trust me?"

He looked up. His eyes climbed from her open hand, up her arm and face, to that sparkling smile. Trust?

What was that supposed to mean?

_People will always hurt you, it's just their way. Don't trust anyone, Yuki. Understand? You don't need them. _

There was the question again. Could Akito be wrong?

"Yuki-kun?"

Because something in him _did _want to trust her. He wanted to need this women with the rainbow umbrella and the daughter his age.

So what if she didn't want or need _him_? So what if she didn't really care? Just for a moment, he had something Akito said was impossible. It was like winning. Like standing on his own.

_You need me._

She jerked her hand up and down. "C'mon! I promise that if I turn out to be some psychopathic ax-murderer, I'll be the first to call the police on myself."

"Wha - ?"

"Listen, this is probably the most disgusting weather ever to hit Tokyo and it looks like you already have a cough. I can drive you to the hospital instead, but I'm defiantly not leaving you out he -"

"No! N - no hospitals, please, I'm okay." Yuki looked down again, feeling stupid.

But she was laughing. "Whatever you say. Let's get out'a here, shall we?"

Again, she jerked her hand firmly.

"Okay…" His hand seemed to move on its own, reaching up slowly. What was he doing? He hesitated, pulling the fingers back a little.

Kyoko rolled her eyes, snatched his hand and hauled him upright with such surprising strength, Yuki thought he felt his feet momentarily lift off the ground.

"There. Was that so hard?"

Her hand was so warm

And then, as if lying in wait, the infuriating exhaustion promptly vibrated all over him. The ground was like a magnet pulling him forward. He was going to fall…

Kyoko suddenly leaned toward him so he just had time to catch her elbow with his other hand. Startled, Yuki stood slowly upright again, breathing heavily.

He clutched her purple coat sleeve without looking up.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

"Nonsense."

She waited till he was steady, then started walking. Aside from slowing down over the slick tree roots she gave no sign of thinking he'd done anything unusual.

She started talking about how bad the roads were and how there was no point in buying her new car if it was going to wind up in a stupid snow bank.

Yuki concentrated on walking. With the air still coming in thin and his limbs shuddering over every movement… what if he were to transform? In front of -

Oh, knock it off. If he could just sit down soon and focus on breathing, he'd be fine.

"Cars are such a pain in the winter! There's ice on the roads and hail on the windshield and you're at the mercy of the snowplows if you even want to leave your house in the morning! Haaah!" she moaned. "I miss my motorcycle! But you _know_, I promised my daughter I'd be more careful and cars are safer, I suppose. Mou…"

The trees abruptly ended and they were standing next to the highway, a few feet from a silver Toyota Fortuner.

"Go ahead and climb in," Kyoko prompted over her shoulder. She dropped his hand and walked around to the driver's side.

Yuki climbed into the imitation-leather passenger seat and closed his door. While waiting for Kyoko to shake the slush off her umbrella, he looked around at the car's interior.

No one could have guessed this was a new car.

The back bench was invisible under a pile of clothes, grocery bags, used Styrofoam cups, and what looked like a guitar case sticking up from the bottom.

There was a long leather jacket draped over the back of his seat, the dashboard was strewn with unopened mail and magazines, and every cup holder contained a different Sanrio bobble head.

He also noticed a photograph in a popsicle-stick frame hanging from the rearview mirror, but all he could make out of the figure was a lot of dark brown hair.

The other door opened and he quickly dropped his gaze.

"Alrighty, then!" Kyoko slid into her seat, tossed the wet umbrella into the hurricane of junk in the back, and slammed the door shut. "Let's get go - oh, here!" she reached across his lap and popped the glove box open. Several empty cigarette boxes fell on the floor as she pulled out a travel-pack of Kleenex and handed it to him.

With a flush of embarrassment, he realized that this whole time, his nose had been dripping down onto his upper lip. He turned away and wiped a Kleenex furiously across his face, then resumed staring at his knees.

"Thanks."

"Hm?" she said distractedly, staring out the rear window as she backed onto the road. The engine rumbled in protest over a frozen puddle, then pulled out and forward.

She spun a little red dial and more heat surged out of the vents. Yuki felt it tingle over his cheeks and begin thawing the tips of his ears.

Dripping gray trees blurred together as and the SUV settled into a comfortable forty five miles an hour.

Kyoko lit into an anecdote about accidentally following a snow plow halfway to Saitama before she realized it was headed the opposite direction from her workplace.

Warm air filled the cluttered car and Yuki eventually took off his scarf, balling it on the crumb-strewn floor by his feet.

"So," said Kyoko. "This place you're headed - you staying with family?"

"Oh - yes, my cousin's house, he lives there."

"I see. Your parents live close by?"

"No, they uh - no. Not… not close.

"Huh. Even so, they didn't give you a ride to your cousin's? In this kind of weather - that seems odd." She glanced at him then back out this windshield. "I'm sorry, I'm being nosy… but really, especially if you're sick -"

"They couldn't drive me," Yuki said suddenly. "They're… they died - last year."

Why on earth had he said that? What an awful lie to tell - after all, he didn't hate them! He didn't consider them dead… but how else could he explain it? He didn't even know _where _his mother was anymore. For all he knew…

"Oh."

He looked up. Kyoko straightened her arms against the steering wheel, pressing her shoulders into the seat back, and let out a deep, shaky sigh.

"Yuki-kun, I'm… I'm _so _sorry." Yuki opened his mouth in a guilty panic but couldn't think of any way to take it back. She spoke quietly into the strained silence, "When my husband died…well…"

Yuki mentally kicked himself. She wanted to share her grief with him because he 'understood'. But he _couldn't _understand! He didn't know what it was like to lose someone like that, to be suddenly alone -

His stomach wrenched inward.

_Poor little Yuki. You didn't know? They left you with me because they didn't want you. There was no other reason. Poor thing. I thought they told you…_

The car jolted over a piece of tire rubber and skated slowly back to the middle. Yuki tilted his head down so the bangs hid his eyes.

"It's like sleepwalking, isn't it?" Kyoko was gripping the steering wheel as if it were a rollercoaster bar, but her voice was calm, thoughtful. "You walk through nightmares and good dreams - dreams that seem almost real - but you can feel it… that you're not really awake. You can't focus or raise your voice… something's always out of place, you know?"

He nodded, fingernails dug into palms. The used Kleenex squeezed in his right fist grew smaller.

"But then… eventually - and it may seem like forever - but one day, you _do _wake up." He felt her blue eyes on him as the car began to slow. "It will happen."

Wake up?

He hadn't meant to answer. But he heard his voice anyway, small and humiliatingly desperate.

"When?"

The moment he spoke, the car came to a stop and the shifting park-break drowned out his question.

Kyoko seemed to shake herself. "This is the address, which driveway is it now?"

Yuki made his face relax and looked up. "This is fine, I'll walk the rest."

"Are you sure?" Kyoko leaned toward the windshield as if making sure the house was truly nearby. "Looks like these drives go back a'ways."

"It's not a long walk, really." He tried a polite smile which seemed to work because she nodded.

"Alright, if you're sure."

"I am." He pulled the handle and the door popped open a crack. "Thank you - I'm so sorry for the trouble."

She flicked her hand casually. "Don't be silly, it wasn't any trouble. Plus it makes a great story!"

His smile froze, then vanished into frantic headshaking. "No, please don't! Don't tell anyone about me, it wouldn't… It would be better if…you - you should forget you met me," he finished lamely. Would he ever stop being so rude?

Kyoko looked confused but her sparkling eyes remained steady. "Yuki-kun, I not only _can't _do that - I wouldn't want to." She studied his tense expression a moment, then said, "But here: I promise not to tell if you don't. There, now it's like an inside joke, nee?"

Yuki loosened his grip on the door and tried smiling again. He gave up halfway through and went for a nod instead. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

He pushed the door all the way open and stepped out onto the gravel cross-drive. The cold wind greeted him with a friendly smack in the face.

He was about to close the door when, "Yuki-kun!"

He turned back, looking down into the car. Kyoko's head cocked a little to the side and she opened and shut her mouth once before saying, "Take care, okay?"

"I will -"

"Really… take care of yourself."

There was something in her face he didn't understand. "Okay."

She just nodded, smiling oddly.

Feeling a little awkward, he turned back to the road and shut the door. Now for the hard part.

Shigure was very proud of his new house. At the last New Year's Celebration, he had told everyone who'd sit still long enough all about it. Yuki was good at sitting still.

"It's the house furthest from the main road with the most _beautiful _yard surrounded by tall trees…practically the middle of nowhere! It was very expensive, but the landlady couldn't resist my offer." He'd leaned toward Yuki who leaned away slightly. "Nor the mysterious pink roses on her doorstep." He winked. Yuki twitched.

Even in the fading daylight, it was easy to tell that the far left road was the longest; it skirted two other drives and disappeared around ashen tree trunks.

Yuki gulped in some sickly cold air and started walking. The thick clouds had churned the sky into a dismal, colorless mass. Here in the open, it spat rain on him with languid disinterest.

Clutching his coat tighter, Yuki made for the trees where the dripping would be more predictable. Sure enough, as the gravel turned to muddy snow, both the rain and wind died to an easy trickle.

Yuki never looked behind him. Neither did he notice that Kyoko's car didn't back down to the road till long after he was out of sight.

After ten minutes of trudging through the white-brown sludge, Shigure's driveway was starting to feel ludicrously long. Still, Kiabara was technically in walking distance - perhaps he should get a bicycle for days when his bronchitis was acting up like this… at least during the winter.

A bicycle. School. Home.

Yuki watched his feet walk. Maybe it wasn't good to think like that - but he didn't care. He'd come this far, why not assume he would make it the rest of the way?

The house suddenly appeared around a corner of trees and Yuki felt his heart rate spike. Don't stop.

Up the path, the wooden porch steps, fist raised… his knuckle froze over the doorframe. His pants were stained brown from when he'd fallen in the mud and damp bangs clung all over his forehead. He must look a terrible mess.

The sound of boisterous conversation filtered through the thin walls and one of the two voices was definitely Shigure's. He bit his lip -

-and knocked.

And knocked again. And again. Whoever Shigure was talking to was awfully loud.

He knocked hard and at last heard one voice coming closer.

"Yes, poor Mit-chan! I'll probably be the death of -" The door slid open and Shigure stopped mid-laugh. His jaw dropped slightly. "Yu - Yuki-kun?"

There was a flash of a bright red kimono over Shigure's shoulder. "Is that your lovely editor now, Gure-san?"

Yuki went rigid. Ayame appeared several meters from the doorway, took one look at Yuki, and also turned to stone, falling abruptly silent.

Shigure was still staring at him. "Yuki-kun… how did you - ?"

This was no time to hesitate. Without looking at his brother, Yuki snapped forward into what was probably a very awkward bow, and took a deep breath.

"Shigure, I - I've been accepted at Kiabara high school close by and I plan to attend day-after-tomorrow when the first term starts. I have come to ask you if - if you might allow me to… live with you for duration of the school year." His voice vanished momentarily into sharp coughing. Another breath.

"I promise not to be a burden on you and I'll pay my share of the rent once I've finished school and I'll abide by any rules you choose and do my best to be a good student…" he squeezed his eyes shut. One last deep breath, "Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!"

The last syllable was strangled by a ferocious cough that made Yuki's head spin a little.

He remained bowed toward his filthy shoes and panted. All he could do was wait for Shigure's answer and he refused to move an inch 'til he got it.

The silence was agonizingly long.

Then, softly, Shigure chuckled and Yuki felt a hand spread through his hair and rest heavily on his head. He opened his eyes to the porch-floor.

"All this time… and in the end you acted on your own." Shigure sighed with what sounded like relief. "Well done, Yuki-kun."

His hand dropped and, feeling bewildered, Yuki finally looked up. "Then - I can… stay?"

Shigure smiled warmly. "Of course you can. As long as you need it, you're home is here." His voice rose to it's normal level again. "Besides, it'll be nice to have such a cute boy in the house to distract Mitsuru!" He shot over his shoulder, "Nee, Aya?"

Yuki felt his left eyelid twitch and he straightened up slightly. "Wha - ?"

"Oh, don't worry, I'm sure you'll grow out of that face of yours… but in the meantime, you should take advantage of it! You might try introducing yourself as 'Yuki-chan' - especially with girls…"

Yuki went bug-eyed. He opened his mouth to reply and instantly fell to coughing again. The trembling fatigue caught up at last. His knees buckled and he tipped forward, folding over Shigure's waiting arm.

His cousin smiled innocently. "Would 'chin' be better?"

"Why you -" Yuki ground out.

And with a bubbly explosion, he disappeared into a cloud of pink smoke.

* * *

_TBC_


	3. Chapter 3

Here's part-the-last. Thanks you so much to everyone who read-reviewed this! Your feed back is treasured more than A&W cream soda (which, incidentally, is my favorite beverage, so thank you kindly)!

* * *

Shigure was terribly eager to give a tour of the _entire _house. He did so with Yuki on his palm and went such a speed that later, Yuki couldn't even remember where the grimy kitchen was.

By the time he transformed back to normal, a syrupy darkness had fallen outside and the slush had melted into a more decisive rain.

The moment he was human again, Shigure force-fed him a bowl of green onion miso soup, about four pots worth of ginger tea (insisting it would cure his bronchitis _forever_) and finally sent him to bed.

Ayame somehow managed to stay completely out of sight the whole evening.

After showing him to his room, Shigure left Yuki alone holding an afghan and standing uncertainly next to his bed.

What was he supposed to do in this situation? Since he was little, he'd never slept anywhere but in his room at the main house. He felt weird enough, wearing one of Shigure's linen yukatas to sleep in… but it was like trespassing to just fall asleep in someone else's guest room…

Even so, as soon as he'd made himself lie down, his whole body melted into the futon's soft surface as if into a cloud. Immediately his eyelids drooped.

It took a while for the muffled conversation drifting from the living room through his bedroom door to register.

"…ever since what happened with Ha-san and Kana-kun, you've said you regret not reaching out when you had the chance." Shigure's voice was low and serious.

"There was nothing I could do - none of us could!" Ayame returned defensively.

"_He _did. And now he's right here. Aya… you'll never have a better chance!"

"Blast your meddling, Gure-san." Ayame sighed, then said quietly, "Do you really think he would…"

"Depends on how hard you're willing to try."

"I don't even know what I would say to him now! What do I do, play games with him? Teach him things?"

"Why not?"

Ayame groaned. "Even though you say that -"

"Teach him what you know best," said Shigure. "Teach him about girls."

"Don't be ridiculous." A pause. Then laughter. "Maybe so…"

Sleepily, Yuki wondered who they were talking about, then decided he was too comfortable to care.

"Does he have what he needs? For school, I mean." Ayame sounded awkward.

"He has some books Ha-san gave him for his birthday, but I think he must have left them at the main house. I'll pick them up when I go to see Akito-san tomorrow."

Yuki's eyes sprang wide open. The little room seemed to fill with cold air.

"Are you planning to talk him out of coming here?"

"I don't think I'll need to," Shigure answered thoughtfully. "If I know Akito, he won't be satisfied unless Yuki _wants _to come back."

Ayame muttered something inaudible.

"I know…" said Shigure. "But I suppose only time will tell."

Silence encased the house for a while. Gradually, Yuki felt the sleepy calm slow his heartbeat again.

"Does it feel cold?" Shigure asked suddenly.

"Like Hokkaido!" Ayame cried, glad to change the subject. "You're terrible, Gure-san. Are you trying to murder me?"

Shigure laughed and his footsteps sounded down the hall. The bedroom door slid open and Shigure's silhouette filled the doorway.

Yuki kept his eyes shut, as his cousin knelt beside the futon. After a moment, he felt the weight of a second afghan drape over top of him. Footsteps back to the door, then down the hall.

Ayame's voice came again from farther away, perhaps the kitchen. "How is he?"

"He'll be alright. I called Ha-san a little while ago. He can't come till late tomorrow because Hiro has the flu and Momiji is having sympathy-pains. He just said to keep Yuki warm and let him sleep most of tomorrow. Then he should be fine to go to school."

"I see…That's good." his voice was back in the living room. "Perhaps I'll go with him! I wouldn't mind repeating the beautiful days of high school, you know? If you and Tori-san came…"

"Absolutely. We'll start an Old-Men club and high school girls will be begging for our autographs."

Yuki felt impossibly warm under the thick afghans. The voices in the living room blended into meaningless noise.

Home.

His mind wandered from there into an effortless sleep.

* * *

Come Tuesday, the rain had utterly vanished, leaving the sky a washed-out turquoise with a piercingly white blur where the sun was supposed to be.

All around the entrance doors, boys stamped their feet and girls hopped up and down in a sort of anti-freezing dance. Every student not wearing a scarf breathed a personal cloud of mist into the thin air and occasionally a voice would moan "So cold!"

But in general, Yuki found himself surrounded by a lot of laughter and animated conversation as he changed into his school shoes and walked back out to the double glass doors. He noticed after a moment that he was hugging his book bag and immediately dropped it to one hand by his side.

The day of the entrance ceremony had been so crowded and hectic (no to mention everyone else seamed to know each other already) that Yuki had barely said to words to anyone or seen much of the school. Today was going to be interesting. He'd already nearly forgotten his bag on the way out and then Shigure had stopped him again

He'd leaned around living room doorway, wining, "Yuki-kun, you're supposed to say 'itekimasu' before you leave or I won't know you're gone!"

Yuki had swallowed, feeling a little bewildered. "I - itekimasu."

Shigure's face instantly transformed into a ridiculous, satisfied beam. He strolled back into the living room singing, "Yes, yes, do your best, come back safe, make friends - oh! And don't forget to say 'tadaima" when you come home!"

Yuki wrapped his fingers around the cold, metal door handle, allowing himself a timid smile. This was going to work.

He pulled on the handle.

No sooner did he cross the threshold than someone ran headlong into him, smacking them both into the doorframe.

Panicing, Yuki stared down at person just as whoever it was pulled away. A boy's uniform. He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Whoops, sorry!" the kid said through breathless laughter and glanced over his shoulder.

To girls (one in pigtails, the other with black hair down to her hips) were veering a hallway several feet away and yelling in mock annoyance.

"Shoga-ku-un! Give my book back!" called the one in pigtails.

"Gotta run!" The kid shot a grin at Yuki and hefted the book under his arm. An instint, Yuki grabbed the corner of the book and snatched it away. "Wha - Oi!"

The girls caught up at last and the long-haired girl grabbed Shoga's arm with one hand and planted the other on her hip.

"You're horrible, Shoga-kun! Give Manae-chan her book back _now_!"

Shoga, still chuckling, held up his free hand to point at Yuki. "Don't got it anymore, he took it."

She whirled on Yuki in time to see him set the book in Manae's hands.

"I'm sorry, I hope I didn't complicate things for you," he said, trying to be a courteous as possible. He even threw in the polite smile he was slowly perfecting. These were the first kids he'd talked to outside the Souma family in years… what would they think of him?

Manae was staring up at him with an odd sparkle in her eyes. The dark-haired girl suddenly pushed between them. She had on a lot of shiny lip-gloss.

"Not at all, of course not! This idiot," she reached over to smack Shoga's arm. "-was just teasing Manae and stole her book. So… I guess you kind of saved her, huh?"

"Ah - I don't -"

"I'm Nanaki. Me and Manae-chan are in Class C. What about you?"

"M - my name is Souma Yuki, I'm in Class B -"

"Mou! How boring. Well!" She perked up. "We'll still see you around, right? You should come to our classroom during lunch - well, technically freshman aren't allowed, but the teachers will be too busy the first week to notice. It'll be fun! Yoroshiku, nee?"

"Uh -"

"Manae-chan!"

Manae, who was still staring wide-eyed at Yuki's face, jumped and made her pigtails bounce as she quickly bowed. "Oh - ah, Yorshi -"

"See you again soon!" Nanaki suddenly grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards the hallway.

"Wow, Souma-san." Yuki turned to Shoga who was leaning, arms crossed, against the wall. He watched the girls giggle down the hall. "No one's ever gotten Yoshida Nanaki to be that obvious. You must be some kind of prince or something."

Yuki stared back, wishing he knew what in the world Shoga was talking about.

"But if you don't mind, try keeping your irresistible charm to yourself around Manae, you know what I mean?" He winked.

"Not at all, actually."

"Right." Shoga grinned knowingly. Then he pushed off the wall and waved over his shoulder. "Later!"

Yuki felt his hand wave back. He felt a little like he'd just tried to jump aboard a moving bullet train, and he couldn't tell if he'd succeeded. Well, at least he needn't have worried about how to talk to them - they didn't seem to mind if he talked or not.

Beyond that, 'courteous' appeared to be working. He decided to try it again.

Walking down the hall towards his classroom, he noticed a girl with long, wavy brown hair staring up at the class list. She was holding something made of red cloth and looking rather troubled.

Yuki came carefully up beside her. "Can I help you find someone?" Doubtful. At this point, he knew Nanaki, Manae and Shoga and he didn't even know what class the latter was in.

The girl turned suddenly and looked up at him with enormous, deep cerulean eyes. "Oh no! I mean, I'm sorry, I didn't mean 'no', I just - I don't want to inconvenience you."

Yuki blinked twice, then opted for another polite smile… suddenly, it felt a little wrong. "It's no inconvenience. I'd like to help if I can."

"Well -" the girl watched the floor shyly. "I don't suppose you know - I'm looking for a boy named Souma Yuki. Do you know him?"

Yuki almost took a step back. Why would anyone be looking for _him_? "Ah - that's uh… That's me."

She stared at him blankly for a minute, then suddenly snapped into an overly deep bow and babbled, "Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't realize - I mean, it's nice to meet you! I'm Honda Toru, I'm in class B - you didn't need to know that, sorry, I meant -"

"It's nice to meet you, too." She straightened up slowly and Yuki tried smiling again. It still felt stiff. "We're in the same class then. Yoroshiku onigaishimasu."

Her face lit up. "Same here, yoroshiku onigaishimasu!" She smiled uncertainly at her shoes again. "Eh - do you mind if - if I call you 'Souma-kun'? I mean! - maybe that's too… I just thought, because we're in the same class… would that be alright? "

No one had ever asked something like that. But when she said it, it sounded… Yuki began to nod emphatically, realized it would look too eager, and stopped abruptly.

The end-result was that of a sudden, violent hiccup. Fortunatly, Toru understood it to mean 'yes' and she beamed.

Feeling a little dumb, Yuki quickly changed the subject. "Honda-san… why were you looking for me?"

"Oh! I almost forgot!" She lifted both hands, holding the folded red cloth out to him.

Yuki felt his mouth open a little. It was his scarf. "I - thank you…"

"My mother found it in her car. She said it was yours and asked me to give it to you if I saw you at school."

"Your mother…" Yuki stared down at the carefully folded scarf. Kyoko must have washed it; the dirt and bits of bark were gone and it felt softer. "Did she… tell you about -"

The warning bell rang suddenly and Toru jumped. "Oh no! I'm supposed to help Ogata Sensei set clean the chalkboard! I'm sorry, I'd better go."

"Oh, yes, I understand. Thank you, sorry for the trouble."

"Mm," she shook her head. "I'm glad I could meet you, Souma-kun!"

She smiled again, wide and sparkling. Just like Kyoko, but a little younger and generously cheerful.

Toru spun around and ran down the hallway. Halfway down, she bumped into another girl and spent a solid twenty seconds apologizing while she bowed repeatedly. Then she took off again and disappeared around the corner.

Yuki remained still for a while. The halls emptied slowly.

He held on end of the scarf and let it unroll down to an inch above the floor. The last bit of the scarf flipped over and an envelope landed on his shoe.

He draped the scarf over his shoulder and bent to pick it up. 'Yuki-kun' was written in black, tiny letters on the back the flap was tucked, rather than sealed. He pulled out a sheet of gray-blue stationary and unfolded it carefully.

**Yuki-kun,**

**I hope my daughter managed to find you. I don't know if you're in the same school, but I thought it was a good guess.**

**Don't worry, I didn't tell her about meeting you. I always keep my promises and you have to keep yours!**

**Yuki-kun, yesterday you asked a question and I didn't get the chance to answer. You wanted to know when you wake up from sleepwalking. I thought about it a lot - and I just didn't know.**

**So I asked Toru what she thought. She's very smart with those kinds of things (probably gets it from her dad).**

**This is what she told me:**

**You always wake up when the sun shines so brightly, right in your face, that just can't ignore it anymore.**

**Wait for it. You won't sleep forever.**

**It was a pleasure high-jacking you. Maybe we'll meet again someday, nee?**

**-Kyoko**

Yuki stared at the note long after he'd finished reading it.

Somewhere along the lines, the final bell rang and he was officially late for homeroom. He broke into a run with the scarf clutched in one hand, Kyoko's note in the other.

Somehow, he wanted to tell her 'thank you', but all he could do was keep a silly promise to never tell anyone about that day.

He reached the classroom doorway just Ogata Sensei was about to shut the door. She peered disapprovingly at Yuki who quickly bowed and apologized. Apparently satisfied, Ogata let him take his seat. Yuki's gaze flit out the window many times during class.

That 'sun'… would he know it when he saw it?

Homeroom ended and Yuki turned his mind back on school.

"Akito!"

* * *

_Go to sleep. It would be so easy. _

This was it. Nowhere to go.

"Yuki!" he was walking towards him, arms out as if for an embrace. "I've missed you so much, Yuki!"

"Wha -"

"I don't know why - it seems like such a long time…."

Don't come any closer! "What are you -"

"You've grown up a lot, look how tall you are!"

Please, stay away. "What did you do?" For a moment, his voice belonged to someone much taller. Then it shook and was his own again. "What did you do to Honda-san?"

Akito finally stopped, just inside arms length. He smiled harmlessly. "Nothing."

Yuki clenched his fists, everything in him poised to run. But Akito remained between him and Toru, innocently threatening.

"I was only introducing myself. Nee, Toru-san," he said over his shoulder. "We were just exchanging greetings, right?"

Toru jumped, speaking from very far away. "Oh - ah, yes!"

Akito turned his eyes back on Yuki's before she'd finished. "Nee, Yuki. More to the point, there's something simply _must _ask you."

Suddenly, his hand came up, long fingers resting so lightly on Yuki's cheek, he barely felt it. It was all Akito needed to paralyze him.

Yuk's breath caught in his throat, cold spreading from his face into his chest.

"Why didn't you come to the New Year's Celebration? How could you do such a thing?"

After running so far, letting himself think it was enough… how childish. _That's right._

"Even though I've become so generous lately…"

All the time and distance, school and people, secrets and smiling… Akito had walked right through it all like it was nothing.

"You doing something like that - it really breaks my heart. I guess I have no choice… I'll have to re-educate you."

He froze all over. Every part of him trembled out of control.

Akito's smile spread in an amused line. He went on softly, barely above a whisper. "… once again, put you back in that room, the one just for you…"

Back in that chaotic silence - that toxic, hollow air. _I'm the head of the Soumas. Did you think you could go against me and not be punished?_ The squeaking floorboards, the ice-cold dread … _Just sleep, Yuki._

…like he'd never left. _You were always mine and you know it. _

_Say you know it…_

Akito was gone. Just like that, his hand slipped off Yuki's cheek and he stumbled sideways.

Yuki didn't look up but he saw Toru's hands carefully pulling away from Akito's arm. She, too, was staring at the ground as she spoke quietly. "E - excuse me. We have to - we should really get back to our classroom. If we don't … we'll be in trouble."

"I see." Akito took a slow step back. "Sorry. I should be getting back to Shigure and the others as well, so they don't worry." His voice turned smoothly towards Yuki again with an audible smile. "Yuki. I do hope you'll enjoy high school. Don't forget to come and visit me soon."

Yuki stared blankly at Akito's shoes, afraid to lift his head. He could still feel his wide eyes, the cold sweat on his neck - he didn't want Toru to see.

Akito turned and walked leisurely past them, back onto the covered walkway and around the corner.

Toru was watching him go with both fists raised anxiously over her chest. He needed to say something.

It was over. He was still safe. "Honda-san?"

She quickly turned her large eyes on him, openly confused. "Ah - Yes?"

"Akito - he really didn't do anything… or say anything strange to you - did he?"

"No, he didn't. He really just offered his greetings."

"I see." Yuki felt a heavy relief, but for some reason, it showed itself a miniature version of the polite smile he'd long stopped using with Toru.

An odd look came over her face - something he didn't understand.

Then she leaned forward excitedly. "Yuki-kun, let's go play!"

He blinked. "Eh?"

"School is out early today and since it's been so long, Uo-chan and Hana-chan said we should all have some fun!" She beamed with her eyes squinted shut. "Everybody's waiting for us, we should join them!"

Suddenly, she grabbed his hand and started to run.

"Ah…!" Yuki tripped forward and ran after her, holding onto her warm hand and hoping she wouldn't feel how much his was still shaking.

Toru led the way from the student-walk, around the brick library, to the path down to the badminton courts. Sakura trees hung over the path, snowing creamy-pink peddles on them as they ran.

Had anything really changed? Akito hadn't given up, he never would. But something felt different this time.

Yuki watched Toru's long hair bounce and wave from the lacy yellow ribbons. Patchy sunlight mixed with flower-shaped shadows on the ground.

Voices were carrying from the badminton court nearest. Kyo was shouting something at Uo about the racket being for balls and not his head. Momiji was begging to be on Toru's team and Haru appeared to be vainly attempting to explain how they chose teams, but his voice was to soft to hear.

Yuki watched them with comfortable familiarity. When had this group of people become irreplaceable to him? When had he begun to be himself?

Toru turned off the path and onto the grass to cover the distance faster.

Now that the sky was visible, Yuki glanced up at the deep afternoon blue. Akito's words still stung the back of his mind, the memories still stuck like dry ice.

But what did that matter? It was spring now and Akito was wrong about a lot of things.

Toru was unlatching the gate one-handed, the other still holding his tightly.

It was alright - there was nothing out of place. Yuki felt disoriented, clumsy, embarrassed, and very much awake.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-__Shiagari_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

* * *

Yonde kurete arigatou!

Jaa-nee, Minna-san!


End file.
